andrew130

Search for a member

Offline (7 minutes ago)

andrew130

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

andrew130's page activity

Visits<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:00am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:26am

andrew130's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of andrew130's badges

andrew130's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

by gibbette / 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

by kkt / 04/25/2013 at 12:54am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

by awkward O_o / 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

by poopy pants / 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

by anon / 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm / United States / Health

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

by seamonkeys / 03/21/2013 at 5:42am / United States / Kids