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andrew130

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andrew130

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 799
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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andrew130's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:26am

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andrew130's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47161) - you deserved it (3902)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47817) - you deserved it (8946)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55039) - you deserved it (27646)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51637) - you deserved it (18795)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (3073)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55972) - you deserved it (4427)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (7570)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49048) - you deserved it (4951)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51813) - you deserved it (11194)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65001) - you deserved it (6592)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56224) - you deserved it (11991)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42212) - you deserved it (4987)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (49214)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79526) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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