andres__13

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Offline (the 06/26/2016 at 10:38pm)

andres__13

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  • Number of visits : 896
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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andres__13's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

by ph2222 / 10/05/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

by bowler99 / 01/12/2015 at 11:43am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

by I'll Make You FartCum / 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

by giantcuntflaps / 12/13/2014 at 11:03am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

by Anon / 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

by look before you speak / 02/09/2014 at 2:12am / United States / Love

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm / Intimacy