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andiesaur's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML
by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek
Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML
by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML
by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML
by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML
by Anonymous / 03/18/2014 at 10:56am / Japan / Love
by JustClaire95 / 03/17/2014 at 7:58am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals
by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
- Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.… Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container.… Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us…