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analusg

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analusg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1270
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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analusg's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:09pm<b>Scott411</b> - the 08/11/2011 at 9:24am

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analusg's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML

#18419165
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (3585)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55276) - you deserved it (5530) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (2893)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29412) - you deserved it (7340)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (5418)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (8627)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9919) - you deserved it (31228)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

#18416702
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (4221)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

#18414654
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (4194)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21600) - you deserved it (3181)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (3422)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39249) - you deserved it (5522)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42641) - you deserved it (4473)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)



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