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anaiviv

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anaiviv

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  • Number of visits : 309
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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anaiviv's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46436) - you deserved it (6561)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (7485)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38098) - you deserved it (7143)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39581) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (14240)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53377) - you deserved it (4466)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46490) - you deserved it (3399)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (3670)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44173) - you deserved it (4719)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44431) - you deserved it (10395)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53149) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43376) - you deserved it (10952)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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