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an3ph

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an3ph

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 390
  • Number of comments : 520
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About an3ph : Soft spoken, skinny 30-something funeral director by profession who loves books (like J. R. R. Tolkien's and O. S. Card's) and words (like mamihilapinatapai). I have a good life, so I don't have a lot to post here, but I enjoy commiserating with other people's troubles.

an3ph's page activity

Visits<b>Kyra1</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:34am<b>Dozer1988</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:23am<b>slimblack</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:36pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:44pm<b>zineb22</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ruahogfan2</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:33pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:15pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:47am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:38am<b>hobojo69</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:14am<b>myinsecurities</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:40am<b>pptm</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:48am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:31am<b>Urlastwurdz</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:23am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:48pm

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an3ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56302) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44043) - you deserved it (19915)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

#21166627
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51576) - you deserved it (6766)

On 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm - misc - by Un1ucky (woman) - United States

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (5299)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (8059)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (13496)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

#21072866
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36538) - you deserved it (3499)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:21am - work - by FallCameEarly (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48901) - you deserved it (9986)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (8802)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48977) - you deserved it (25516)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56191) - you deserved it (4773)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML



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