Today, I updated my info and noticed my number of visits, FML.
Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you totally deserved it (9777)
On 05/31/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by sierra808 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you totally deserved it (15651)
On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11205) - you totally deserved it (40247)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40265) - you totally deserved it (5066)
On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7570) - you totally deserved it (66771)
On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (110251) - you totally deserved it (9009)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you totally deserved it (3970)
On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
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On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70837) - you totally deserved it (1517)
On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML
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On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
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On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
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On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
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On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
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On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML
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On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)
