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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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amrz95

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amrz95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1081
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML

#4801141 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (41037) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (62000) - you deserved it (4185)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (15214) - you deserved it (82662)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197 (379)

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (51524)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (70550) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (79098) - you deserved it (10892)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (14267) - you deserved it (949)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)