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amphetamin3

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amphetamin3

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1138
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About amphetamin3 : Things I like: my fiancé, changing my profile picture (a lot. Seriously. More than I should.), video games (xbox), animals, sparkly things, owls, traveling, painting my nails, photography, pretty people, rockstar energy drinks, gauges, piercings, tattoos (I don't have any personally!), gargoyles, the color teal.

Things I dislike: douchey people, olives, spiders, toe nails, smelly smells, getting an ouch, people who don't understand my sense of humor, people who take things way too seriously, not getting one of my fmls published, not being able to remember my old FML account's password. :(

Message me if you're feeling adventurous. I like to talk.
Twitter: amph3tamin3

amphetamin3's page activity

Visits<b>sju91</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:46pm<b>FireNinja59</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:04am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:32pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:51pm<b>oops993</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:37am<b>Noxialis</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:39pm<b>DJZeus</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:37pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:35pm<b>k007dot</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 4:54pm<b>alexloz_au</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 12:29am<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:29am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:32pm<b>rawrimacow</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:46am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:50pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:21am<b>1pirelli1</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:47pm

amphetamin3's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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amphetamin3's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (20046)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (10044)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40588) - you deserved it (7511)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46149) - you deserved it (6773)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47955) - you deserved it (9548)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (14698)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

#21074902
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (3627)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54320) - you deserved it (4840)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (7478)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43467) - you deserved it (9333)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41571) - you deserved it (21612)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)



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