amphetamin3

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amphetamin3

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4380
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About amphetamin3 : Things I like: my fiancé, changing my profile picture (a lot. Seriously. More than I should.), video games (xbox), animals, sparkly things, owls, traveling, painting my nails, photography, pretty people, rockstar energy drinks, gauges, piercings, tattoos (I don't have any personally!), gargoyles, the color teal.

Things I dislike: douchey people, olives, spiders, toe nails, smelly smells, getting an ouch, people who don't understand my sense of humor, people who take things way too seriously, not getting one of my fmls published, not being able to remember my old FML account's password. :(

Message me if you're feeling adventurous. I like to talk.
Twitter: amph3tamin3

amphetamin3's page activity

Visits<b>jughead2994</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 6:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:26pm<b>54754N4</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 6:15am<b>cba7</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:33pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 12:27pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:27pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:04pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:29pm<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:46pm<b>keyofdestiny13</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:22am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:23pm<b>xninix</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:06am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:27pm<b>FireNinja59</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:04am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:32pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:51pm<b>oops993</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:37am

amphetamin3's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of amphetamin3's badges

amphetamin3's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

by BMTH2296 / 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm / United States / Geek

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

by SpilledWater93 / 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm / Ireland (Wicklow) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

by thanks, cunt-o / 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

by fiercehawk / 02/18/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids