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amifaiyaz

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amifaiyaz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3473
  • Number of comments : 378
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About amifaiyaz : God, I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making and a madwoman to boot, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for the past 8 years.. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school. AMA :)

amifaiyaz's page activity

Visits<b>pantsman66</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:22pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:54pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:49am<b>ColbyGB</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:27pm<b>samfate</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:08am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:42am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:20am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:53pm<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:01am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 11:19pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:52pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:32pm<b>beach_boy1992</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:34am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:21pm<b>no_lungs</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:26pm

amifaiyaz's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of amifaiyaz's badges

amifaiyaz's favorite FMLs

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20789) - you deserved it (2387)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (4001)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11522) - you deserved it (32816)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

#20018436
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (4804)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

#20018436
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (4804)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16224) - you deserved it (15319)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (7209)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14717) - you deserved it (38368)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (2019)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41411) - you deserved it (4764)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34807) - you deserved it (4364)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6414) - you deserved it (46612)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (3083)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States



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