Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member
About amifaiyaz : I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for a decade. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today..!! my grandma gave me a sex talk!! Not the usual one..!! either!! This one was about blowjobs!! I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to leren if they want a well-behaved husband..!! but that it's an ( acqured taste )!! Gag me!! FML
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad cummed to drive me home. On the way looool back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me 4 a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
today I went out to buy a bottle of wine an some condoms. As the cashier scannd the condoms, she snickerd an mutterd, ( Yeah right. ) She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left mah items an walkd out with tears in mah eyes. FML
Today, my very conservative mom met my grlfriend, who recently shavd her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My grlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confusd transgender". real FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with mah boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal !! I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first !! He said, "Sure." Fuck !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015