Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amifaiyaz

Search for a member

amifaiyaz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3467
  • Number of comments : 378
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About amifaiyaz : God, I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making and a madwoman to boot, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for the past 8 years.. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school. AMA :)

amifaiyaz's page activity

Visits<b>pantsman66</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:22pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:54pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:49am<b>ColbyGB</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:27pm<b>samfate</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:08am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:42am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:20am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:53pm<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:01am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 11:19pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:52pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:32pm<b>beach_boy1992</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:34am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:21pm<b>no_lungs</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:26pm

amifaiyaz's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of amifaiyaz's badges

amifaiyaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (5504)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (8642)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (44721)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (8209)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (60770)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (6416)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (6924)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (2327)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12289) - you deserved it (28800)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17174) - you deserved it (2568)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46748) - you deserved it (1913)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28852) - you deserved it (3595)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: