amifaiyaz

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Offline (the 08/04/2015 at 10:06pm)

amifaiyaz

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12786
  • Number of comments : 380
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About amifaiyaz : I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for a decade. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school.

amifaiyaz's page activity

Visits<b>AlphaDuckPlayer</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 6:32pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:55pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 7:40am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:12am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:06pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 6:04am<b>athdos99</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 3:27am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:19am<b>alex1010</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:57pm<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thatotk</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:20pm<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:22pm<b>The_Egy</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:00pm<b>pantsman66</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Cristian89</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:19pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 6:19pm

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 8:25am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:46am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:44am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:08pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:01pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:19pm

amifaiyaz's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of amifaiyaz's badges

amifaiyaz's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

by rawdoglyfe69 / 04/17/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

by no tea parties here, gran / 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health