amidedark

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Offline (the 02/05/2015 at 4:58am)

amidedark

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  • Number of visits : 108
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amidedark's FML badges

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amidedark's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

by impure / 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 9:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

by LolKaleb / 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

by bambam / 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

by gullible / 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Love