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amidedark

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amidedark

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amidedark's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51782) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49190) - you deserved it (5480)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54628) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

#21157338
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (6060)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55094) - you deserved it (5525)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66718) - you deserved it (4940)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57790) - you deserved it (5618)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48277) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

#21111038
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46574) - you deserved it (3488)

On 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by gullible (man) - United States

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (3083)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (3727)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (19432)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (7743)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (7285)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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