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amidedark

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amidedark
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  • Number of visits : 8
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amidedark's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

#21111038
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42791) - you deserved it (2995)

On 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by gullible (man) - United States

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (2663)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38125) - you deserved it (18146)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (7057)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (5546)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45002) - you deserved it (3557)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51552) - you deserved it (4250)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (10835)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44118) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (11621)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

#21036248
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (9196)

On 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42916) - you deserved it (5773)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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