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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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ami1043

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ami1043
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 695
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ami1043's favorite FMLs

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (4656) - you deserved it (8690)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (45031) - you deserved it (5101)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (2614)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (10861)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

#16501427 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (5701) - you deserved it (9789)

On 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288 (385)

I agree, your life sucks (53335) - you deserved it (2498)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (5668) - you deserved it (17738)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (12543) - you deserved it (54861)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (2683)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

#16369010 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (5866)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:45am - work - by colebear - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (48975) - you deserved it (7525)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (14404)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

#16230560 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (7529)

On 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm - love - by unrequited (man) - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085 (510)

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (7477)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540 (389)

I agree, your life sucks (51128) - you deserved it (7033)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)