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ami1043

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ami1043
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1442
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ami1043's favorite FMLs

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13330) - you deserved it (27670)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49466) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (15378)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

#16501427
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (29202)

On 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61470) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (60891)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14938) - you deserved it (72843)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (3540)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

#16369010
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20050) - you deserved it (6288)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:45am - work - by colebear - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52230) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (19666)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

#16230560
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36119) - you deserved it (11073)

On 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm - love - by unrequited (man) - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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