About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML
by Snow-White / 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love
by thatsnotmyname / 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health
Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML
by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by devdevdev / 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Love
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML
by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work
by beccadabeast / 06/30/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous