Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amelia_suhayda

Offline (yesterday at 11:23pm) | Search for a member

amelia_suhayda

3Fucked!

amelia_suhaydaamelia_suhayda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17832
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.

amelia_suhayda's page activity

Visits<b>lonelysquid93</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:14am<b>Alole</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:02am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>abkfml</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:32am<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:07pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:45pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:42pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:08pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:05am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:06pm<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:43pm<b>whitty06</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:30am<b>darnellq</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:47am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 5:28pm<b>rgnrk</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Amo1216</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:41am

Fucked!<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:03am<b>nitsuganayrem</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:51am

amelia_suhayda's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of amelia_suhayda's badges

amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40643) - you deserved it (4571)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (9945)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (5139)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (6604)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

#21090330
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/18/2014 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55172) - you deserved it (4682)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54201) - you deserved it (6553)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37732) - you deserved it (3897)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

#21089760
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35917) - you deserved it (4130)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:10am - work - by aziraphaleelle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

#21088838
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (3907)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: