About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML
by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML
by drayloon / 08/27/2014 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Money
Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML
by WTF, guys? / 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (California) / Holidays
Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by hellangelrose / 08/26/2014 at 3:48am / France / Holidays
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
by nhyari / 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML
by confidence taken / 08/23/2014 at 2:26am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML
by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…