About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by thedoc / 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML
by Hiimhaileypotter / 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML
by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML
by BrewPack / 07/13/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Kids
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML
by rachelhope / 07/11/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
- Today, I got sick with a 48 hour thing my family's been having. You essentially have a stuffy nose… Today, my grandfather called me after not contacting for almost ten years and told me that he wants… Today, I went on a planned vacation trip with a friend. We booked a nice cabin in the mountains but…