About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
amelia_suhayda's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by 1Nsan3 / 12/13/2014 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Money
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
by driven_crazy / 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by PyroSam / 12/12/2014 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/12/2014 at 11:02am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
by jesspacheco27 / 12/12/2014 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Transportation
by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML
by IHateSchool-.- / 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States / Work
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML
by not laughing anymore / 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML
by anyoldnamewilldo / 12/11/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML
by Soverytired / 12/11/2014 at 8:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
by No thanks / 12/11/2014 at 7:08am / United States / Health
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love