About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
amelia_suhayda's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by mdg41 / 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML
by unsuspectingmom / 01/22/2015 at 6:32am / United States (Michigan) / Health
by burningman / 01/22/2015 at 5:40am / Germany (Hessen) / Transportation
Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by blububble412 / 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by cuckolddreams / 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by highschoolsucks / 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids
by klaatu barada nikto / 01/20/2015 at 8:23am / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML
by iamamermaid / 01/20/2015 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids
- Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get… Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I… Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to…