About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
amelia_suhayda's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by myheadhurts / 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
by LetMeOut / 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Thomas / 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Love
by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work
Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML
by PainStressLife / 11/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML
by Tao26 / 11/10/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Naomi / 11/10/2013 at 5:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by f / 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/09/2013 at 5:30pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Money
by fmylyfe / 11/09/2013 at 9:15am / United States (Minnesota) / Work