About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by brookenicolee29 / 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Estee1024 / 01/24/2014 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Kids