Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amc597

Search for a member

amc597
  • Town/Country : Pasadena, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

amc597's last visitors

thisguy184foxwasalambfk18ZY1431leeebeeeee18davered89TrollxJustAnotherJose2BiGBoYWaNTsSoDaEruditoNatashaLovesYou

amc597's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65016) - you deserved it (5036)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (97815)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52546) - you deserved it (11377)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (10727)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19218) - you deserved it (49782)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54757) - you deserved it (19120)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML

#1146532
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (52223)

On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91505) - you deserved it (37712)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57974) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16973) - you deserved it (62999)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

#458180
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73326) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: