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amc597

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amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1081
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (5117)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48112) - you deserved it (5565)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38810) - you deserved it (4292)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (3261)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (2457)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59146) - you deserved it (10084)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (62303)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76794) - you deserved it (23573)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (42078)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (7219)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
781 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66227) - you deserved it (13905)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38031) - you deserved it (9046)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (51982)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (26534) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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