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amc597

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amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1662
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - 12 hours ago<b>MrTubzy</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Zevulon</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:40pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:25pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:51pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:45pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:07am<b>Dosenpfand</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:33am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:10am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:27pm<b>rogerover</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:58pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:35am<b>Edumcg</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:45am<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:16am<b>robbedoes</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:11am<b>amicusbriefs</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:58am<b>jellybeens</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:54am<b>CommanderColton</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:40pm

amc597's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (5070)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (4572)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (15535)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (6512)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (5125)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48266) - you deserved it (5575)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (4372)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44109) - you deserved it (3269)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (2461)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60597) - you deserved it (10416)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18137) - you deserved it (63568)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77049) - you deserved it (23655)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (43015)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (7228)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
778 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66896) - you deserved it (14063)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)



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