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amc597

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1017
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

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amc597's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (62273)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76736) - you deserved it (23548)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (42054)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
780 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66171) - you deserved it (13893)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37979) - you deserved it (9043)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (51956)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (4989)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (26526) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (19906) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37900) - you deserved it (4763)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML

#13686698
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (5566)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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