amc597

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Offline (the 07/20/2016 at 5:55am)

amc597

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4398
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 11:44am<b>S4ssyK4t</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:24pm<b>itsjulia1</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>larg3</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:36pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:43pm<b>cutterteen</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>Lorrali</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:13pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Alyss4981</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:30am<b>ScorpioTheConque</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:54am<b>MiLM</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:19am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:31pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:43pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:01pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:50pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:09am<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:10pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:54pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:57am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:28am<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:51am

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amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

by kohler9790 / 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

by sillvy / 01/13/2012 at 4:32am / United States / Love

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

by ThinZ / 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

by Pissed / 10/05/2011 at 11:29am / Australia / Kids

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

by ugly? / 09/20/2011 at 4:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health