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amc597

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amc597
  • Town/Country : Pasadena, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 604
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (14934)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28836) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41758) - you deserved it (4242)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (4096)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (2303)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52229) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15913) - you deserved it (58474)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68137) - you deserved it (17313)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12969) - you deserved it (40574)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (6996)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
781 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61244) - you deserved it (12505)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32760) - you deserved it (7303)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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