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amc597

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1020
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>jmann8811</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:53am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:34am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:10am<b>Pepn_Fresh</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:14am<b>Iateacookie</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:04am<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:54pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:37pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:16pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:08pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:40am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>jdjackdaniel4</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:16pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:44am<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:46am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:46pm

amc597's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54785) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (4127)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85057) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20836) - you deserved it (6196)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (2676)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (4948)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (15387)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (6376)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38163) - you deserved it (5115)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (5563)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (4291)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43955) - you deserved it (3260)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (2457)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59084) - you deserved it (10069)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)



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