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amc597

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amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1587
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>Zevulon</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:40pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:25pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:51pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:45pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:07am<b>Dosenpfand</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:33am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:10am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:27pm<b>rogerover</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:58pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:35am<b>Edumcg</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:45am<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:16am<b>robbedoes</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:11am<b>amicusbriefs</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:58am<b>jellybeens</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:54am<b>CommanderColton</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:40pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Fallout_2077</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:47am

amc597's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

#18793315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (4925)

On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (4986)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11460) - you deserved it (88926)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (7545)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (9229)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46589) - you deserved it (3587)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28060) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55756) - you deserved it (5497)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (4223)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85482) - you deserved it (13102)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (6223)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (2688)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



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