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amc597

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1026
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>jmann8811</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:53am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:34am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:10am<b>Pepn_Fresh</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:14am<b>Iateacookie</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:04am<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:54pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:37pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:16pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:08pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:40am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>jdjackdaniel4</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:16pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:44am<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:46am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:46pm

amc597's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20344) - you deserved it (6876)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34021) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22848) - you deserved it (2805)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (2047)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

#18793315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (4892)

On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (3318)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (4976)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (3693)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (7526)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (9205)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46401) - you deserved it (3578)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2600)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States



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