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amc597

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amc597

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2389
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:38pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:07pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:55am<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:37pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:42pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Earth_walker</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:26pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:58pm<b>MrTubzy</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:21pm<b>Zevulon</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:40pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:25pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:51pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:45pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:07am<b>Dosenpfand</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:33am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:10am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:27pm

amc597's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (3257)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (1965)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (4579)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (2300)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

#19585247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20921) - you deserved it (2319)

On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (3706)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (7032)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (4107)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (5007)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (2824)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (2055)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

#18793315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States



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