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amc597

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1021
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>jmann8811</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:53am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:34am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:10am<b>Pepn_Fresh</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:14am<b>Iateacookie</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:04am<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:54pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:37pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:16pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:08pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:40am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>jdjackdaniel4</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:16pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:44am<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:46am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:46pm

amc597's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20017) - you deserved it (4091)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (1845)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (5836)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (20535)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML

#19906711
113 comments

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

#19851846
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (1811)

On 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (3114)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (3114)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (3114)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (1804)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (4401)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (2224)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

#19585247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (2205)

On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML



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