amc597

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Offline (the 06/09/2016 at 12:10am)

amc597

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3935
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 11:44am<b>S4ssyK4t</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:24pm<b>itsjulia1</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>larg3</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:36pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:43pm<b>cutterteen</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>Lorrali</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:13pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Alyss4981</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:30am<b>ScorpioTheConque</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:54am<b>MiLM</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:19am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:31pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:43pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:01pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:50pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:09am<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:10pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:54pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:57am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:28am<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:51am

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amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

by i see fat people / 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

by susan / 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

by daughter / 09/18/2012 at 12:25am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

by Demetria / 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous