Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amc597

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

amc597

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3389
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

amc597's page activity

Visits<b>S4ssyK4t</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:24pm<b>itsjulia1</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>larg3</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:36pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:43pm<b>cutterteen</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>Lorrali</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:13pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Alyss4981</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:30am<b>ScorpioTheConque</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:54am<b>MiLM</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:19am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 1:34pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:43pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:01pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:50pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:09am<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:10pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:54pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:57am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:28am<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:51am

amc597's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42006) - you deserved it (9120)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (9901)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60064) - you deserved it (6004)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53186) - you deserved it (5043)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (4776)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63055) - you deserved it (13237)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59296) - you deserved it (4604)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61641) - you deserved it (7163)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49426) - you deserved it (3789)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (3631)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64917) - you deserved it (9789)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50179) - you deserved it (5813)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: