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amc597

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amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1338
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:25pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:51pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:45pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:07am<b>Dosenpfand</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:33am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:10am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:27pm<b>rogerover</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:58pm<b>erinlindon</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:35am<b>Edumcg</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:45am<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:16am<b>robbedoes</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:11am<b>amicusbriefs</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:58am<b>jellybeens</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:54am<b>CommanderColton</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:40pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Fallout_2077</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:47am<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:50am

amc597's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49376) - you deserved it (9289)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56624) - you deserved it (5689)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48443) - you deserved it (4573)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (4430)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58448) - you deserved it (12240)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55566) - you deserved it (4332)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57712) - you deserved it (6819)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45836) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (3355)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46856) - you deserved it (5496)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60598) - you deserved it (20242)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (3306)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (8625)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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