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amc597

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

amc597

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1013
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>jmann8811</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Wrex</b> - yesterday at 7:53am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:34am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:10am<b>Pepn_Fresh</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:14am<b>Iateacookie</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:04am<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:54pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:37pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:16pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:08pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:40am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>jdjackdaniel4</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:16pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:44am<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:46am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:46pm

amc597's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47604) - you deserved it (3341)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60370) - you deserved it (9124)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46616) - you deserved it (5472)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60477) - you deserved it (20217)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18272) - you deserved it (8606)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14429) - you deserved it (22850)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (1476)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6961) - you deserved it (46483)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (1748)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

#20077204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (1899)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:25am - love - by daughter (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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