Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ambrz

Search for a member

ambrz
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, California, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1853
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ambrz : I'm amber :)

ambrz's last visitors

sethmayer9the_rude_dudexivoricbutterflyDrSkillzHurleyX21miiapaigelulubabathatkidmalandyhitts25

ambrz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ambrz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

#12786707
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (5047)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13332) - you deserved it (34269)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11123) - you deserved it (35583)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (22989)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (8608)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (2130)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

#8750988
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (5627)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm - money - by sdauner - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (5549)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

#8544581
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6647) - you deserved it (16657)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by depressed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (1864)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13838) - you deserved it (18804)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

#7587300
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4557) - you deserved it (45539)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (6824)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: