Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ambiversion

Offline (the 02/10/2014 at 3:52pm) | Search for a member

ambiversion

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1903
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ambiversion : Hello! I'm an awkward, musical, self-contained individual from Scotland, where it's quite cold with 99.9% chance of rain. I like it here. My favourite colour is green, but I think they're all wonderful. "I can make any kind of balloon animal, as long as it's a worm... or a snake..."

ambiversion's page activity

Visits<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:10pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:57am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:57pm<b>PresidentNorth</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:39am<b>ThatGuyWithFMLs</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:22am<b>liketenpandas</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:12am<b>noxcrimson</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:29am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:50am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:37am<b>swasher</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:21pm<b>CobraLazerFace</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:23pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:48pm<b>bdonxtreme</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:21pm<b>WildaRora</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:28pm<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:42am<b>cdawg69</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:03pm<b>calamaeve</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:45pm

ambiversion's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of ambiversion's badges

ambiversion's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40679) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

#21149185
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (2742)

On 05/23/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by notgoodwitholdpeople - Singapore

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (4436)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

#21148062
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (5142)

On 05/22/2014 at 1:51am - misc - by ForgottenSarahMarshall (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

#21147516
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (4012)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:23pm - misc - by NoMoreMeatForAYear (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46952) - you deserved it (4025)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44804) - you deserved it (6289)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55174) - you deserved it (5528)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (6446)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47100) - you deserved it (9184)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

#21142829
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (16599)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (9067)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51871) - you deserved it (5022)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: