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amberamberamber
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 November 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54458) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (6137)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (4039)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26958) - you deserved it (3511)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (29171)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14542) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (1908)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

#20042606
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (10210)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by S. (woman) - Estonia

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (16368)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15697) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)



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