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amazingnicole

Offline (the 01/23/2015 at 5:37pm) | Search for a member

amazingnicole

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 463
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About amazingnicole : :)

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amazingnicole's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52122) - you deserved it (7212)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42321) - you deserved it (8587)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (7040)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (15691)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59174) - you deserved it (9578)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59174) - you deserved it (9578)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51443) - you deserved it (11149)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44799) - you deserved it (6633)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65013) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (48387)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52975) - you deserved it (4666)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (27479)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (2263)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (13361)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18998) - you deserved it (27417)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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