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amazinemo578

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amazinemo578

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About amazinemo578 : Awsome

amazinemo578's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:22pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Derpish</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:48pm<b>meowmafia98</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 4:16pm<b>asianpersuasian2</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 2:38pm<b>Dracs</b> - the 10/14/2010 at 10:27am<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 10/13/2010 at 10:23pm<b>DonULFonso</b> - the 10/13/2010 at 7:17pm

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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amazinemo578's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (5858)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (2528)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (2528)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (27243)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (9580)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44945) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (5487)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (55421)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87719) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

#2630273
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (3974)

On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100395) - you deserved it (271739)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (270438)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (257794)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (257794)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (290300)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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