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amayakitty

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amayakitty
  • Town/Country : Orlando, Florida
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1213
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165805) - you deserved it (16679)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

#5124019
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (66012)

On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML

#5072938
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (4005)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

#4874504
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8961) - you deserved it (7789)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

#4764898
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39213) - you deserved it (1747)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by sunflowercake (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54052) - you deserved it (2853)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55106) - you deserved it (9621)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (46037)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

#4276088
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (21110)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (46506)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

#4179719
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59291) - you deserved it (6079)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

#4074077
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62237) - you deserved it (7452)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:12am - love - by DAMMit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53120) - you deserved it (24661)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
574 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (79347)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



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