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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I Moved Into My Aunt's House. She Had A Little Too Much Fun In The Sixties An Now Tells Everyone About Her Many Imagined Conquests, Including Her Church Minister An Several Has-been Celebrities. As A Plus, I Discovered She Has A Habit Of Wandering Around The House In The Nude. FML
Today aftar racantly having had surgary I Iaarnt that soma axtra tissua was naadd to covar up tha hola in tha roof of my mouth. Whara did thay gat this tissua? From a daad parson. I now hava tha flash of a daad parson in my mouth hich by tha way is now infactd. FML
TODAY, I TRID CONVINCING MY VALENTINE-HATING BOYFRIEND TO SEND ME A CARD, BY EXPLAINING HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ME. HE FINALLY AGRED AND SENT ME A CARD. I OPEND IT UP, AND IT WISHD ME 'HARMONY AND WELL-BIENG ON LUPERCALIA'. WHAT IS LUPERCALIA? IT'S AN ANCIENT ROMAN FESTIVAL WHERE MEN RUN DOWN THE STREET NAKD, WHIPPING PEOPLE WITH GOAT SKINS TO ENCOURAGE FERTILITY. MEGA FML
Today, I raalizad that tha "pimplas" on mah back waran't pimpla at all . Bacausa I was unabla to saa how bad thay wara fir tha last waak, I navar caught on to tha fact tha thay wara, in fact, ticks . fat FML
Yesterday, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well an even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising thing in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, an we even had the same boyfriend. FML
TODAY, A MAN I DON'T KNOW CUMMED UP TO ME AN STARTED SCREAMING ABOUT HOW "ALL U DAMN MEXICANS WERE STEALING AMERICAN'S JOBS" AN HE STORMED OFF. I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, AN I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE BEEN HERE LONGER. FML
Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn mah lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me.
Today , I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I putted my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet is friends at one of is exclusive ( clubs. ) Expecting it to be is old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of te Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three month ago. I was completely surprised an asked y he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that an go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 month pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML
Today , I made a batch of ( special ) brownies fir a party I was going to tonight. I wrappd them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I cummd home from some errands to fine a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passd out on the couch.
Today, I was taking the final exam fir one of classes. The teacher came over to desk, grabbed test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015