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Up and coming moderator
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amanimonster101's favorite FMLs
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by sunil / 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML
by Little Miss Fucket / 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 06/12/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML
by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by NextTimeMom'sDriving / 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Kids
Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML
by Where is it coming from?! / 06/09/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
by Harry / 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health