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amanimonster101's favorite FMLs
by notoneatall / 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML
by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN / 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by idiot bro / 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Wow / 07/05/2014 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Geek
by bad in the sack / 07/05/2014 at 12:26am / United States / Intimacy
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Holidays
Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health
Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML
by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by unwanted daughter / 07/02/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by devdevdev / 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Love
- Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching… Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my… Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I…