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amanimonster101's favorite FMLs
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
by KaiyaOtaku1 / 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by cyzn / 07/14/2014 at 1:59pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML
by dammit hearing aid / 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML
by ninnang / 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Jack00412 / 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by crippled / 07/08/2014 at 4:40am / United States (Nevada) / Health
by rozsrredd / 07/08/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…