amandaaxbc

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amandaaxbc

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  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amandaaxbc's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

by Depirama / 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

by Cuntface McGee / 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

by elizabethkalyn / 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML

by lrn2spel, teach / 12/12/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

by phonegotlostinthepark / 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy