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Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (17395)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18261) - you deserved it (2995)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44466) - you deserved it (3852)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (9387)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (3987)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (2027)
On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8883) - you deserved it (22500)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (9458)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by blinkme (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146628) - you deserved it (5758)
On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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