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amaindayyy46's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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amaindayyy46's favorite FMLs
by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
by I Have Failed / 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm / Spain (Madrid) / Kids
by Unfortunately Me / 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML
by smashyonewfloors / 08/31/2013 at 12:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by pizza girl / 08/30/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Mississippi) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by scammed / 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by grossedout / 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry / 08/29/2013 at 6:44am / Love
Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML
by marryinghimanyway / 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Kannachan13 / 08/28/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…