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alymolina's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML
by p / 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
by me / 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML
by seagull hater / 07/09/2012 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
by maggie74 / 06/27/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Shelby / 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
by tkr / 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy
by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…