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alyalyoxenfree

Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 4:03pm) | Search for a member

alyalyoxenfree

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 January 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 75
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alyalyoxenfree's page activity

Visits<b>jazlynnefaith</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:23am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:54pm<b>twodotgirl</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:52pm<b>htownpostman</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:34pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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alyalyoxenfree's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35213) - you deserved it (9461)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you deserved it (16097)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (4825)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49168) - you deserved it (21252)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48582) - you deserved it (5134)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (8282)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50661) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (8160)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51334) - you deserved it (4404)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45921) - you deserved it (5306)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40677) - you deserved it (2732)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (2867)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -



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