Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alyalyoxenfree

Offline (the 04/26/2015 at 2:31pm) | Search for a member

alyalyoxenfree

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 154
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alyalyoxenfree's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 7:51pm<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:41am<b>423</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:27am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>jazlynnefaith</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:23am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:54pm<b>twodotgirl</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:52pm<b>htownpostman</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:34pm

alyalyoxenfree's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of alyalyoxenfree's badges

alyalyoxenfree's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30108) - you deserved it (3557)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (1922)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (6128)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48276) - you deserved it (13550)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35884) - you deserved it (9550)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (16146)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36966) - you deserved it (4948)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (21298)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50283) - you deserved it (5360)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45429) - you deserved it (8482)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53282) - you deserved it (7248)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: