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alwayzjess

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alwayzjess
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 400
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alwayzjess : I love reading FML's everday before going to bed =)

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alwayzjess's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56330) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

#17429478
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26404) - you deserved it (5084)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

#16844513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (16503)

On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

#16727847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (8660)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

#16619951
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (5706)

On 06/12/2011 at 12:21am - love - by daddylove - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

#16599837
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47069) - you deserved it (6219)

On 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm - love - by sherryberry2013 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (6666)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

#4967264
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (31413)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:00am - animals - by polish_chik - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38748) - you deserved it (8746)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

#194766
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85063) - you deserved it (4579)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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