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alwaysbored13's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
alwaysbored13's favorite FMLs
Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML
by Angie / 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Kids
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Username / 01/27/2010 at 3:35am / Transportation
by Van / 12/20/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 1:42am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML
by Helpy / 10/18/2009 at 12:35pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by NoseInPain / 08/20/2009 at 10:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by prevostsrocklike / 05/11/2009 at 8:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML
by Sick / 05/02/2009 at 12:56am / United States (Florida) / Health
- Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he… Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms… Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded.…