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alwaysbored13's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
alwaysbored13's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
by lanikai610 / 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm / United States / Health
by Michael / 10/25/2011 at 11:00am / Australia / Health
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
by toughbf / 09/27/2011 at 4:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm / United States (California) / Love
by agent_awesome / 09/21/2011 at 11:25am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML
by Lauren / 08/09/2011 at 9:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Work
Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2011 at 8:55am / United States / Money
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
by SheaLili / 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over…