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alwaysbored13's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
alwaysbored13's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation
by robincakes94 / 11/29/2011 at 7:42am / United States / Work
by dasteve / 11/29/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Idaho) / Money
by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML
by workworkwork / 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
by 14YearOld / 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML
by Dave B / 11/25/2011 at 1:59am / Reserved / Transportation
by guy / 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…