Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alwaysbored13

Search for a member

alwaysbored13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4323
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alwaysbored13's last visitors

ervnomyousCrash7777Wizardolionqueen1400Amelia_Jones237DojaniOceanusFutacyFreezeZebrasofa13

alwaysbored13's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of alwaysbored13's badges

alwaysbored13's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (17935)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (39006)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

#18451156
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (2474)

On 12/07/2011 at 6:35am - health - by cuppycakeslove - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (2917)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

#18449960
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21609) - you deserved it (1948)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:26am - work - by gmnesbitt - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

#18444648
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (4413)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10328) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML

#18444427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (4332)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by grannygirlfriend - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (6550)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (50656)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: