alwaysbored13

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Offline (the 02/23/2015 at 3:23am)

alwaysbored13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9094
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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alwaysbored13's page activity

Visits<b>Voltze</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:37pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:27am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 7:46pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 7:10am<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:55am<b>MLove02</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:52pm<b>Dojan</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:08pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 3:22pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:48am<b>Futacy</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 10:58pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 10:03pm<b>Youdontknowme988</b> - the 12/10/2010 at 1:33am<b>notaboutyou</b> - the 10/27/2010 at 2:11pm<b>0opsie</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 9:04pm<b>brianjman14</b> - the 09/09/2010 at 4:55pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 09/08/2010 at 3:33pm

alwaysbored13's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of alwaysbored13's badges

alwaysbored13's favorite FMLs

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

by Buttscratcher / 03/03/2012 at 11:12am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

by ShitFaced / 03/01/2012 at 6:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2012 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

by Fairy31 / 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML

by jake / 02/29/2012 at 9:49am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

by iVaughtTV / 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous