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alwaysbored13

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alwaysbored13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4319
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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alwaysbored13's favorite FMLs

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

#19218183
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (5395)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17087) - you deserved it (18483)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35887) - you deserved it (24926)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10508) - you deserved it (24499)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19199) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (1797)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

#19194281
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (17943)

On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31127) - you deserved it (1706)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (5967)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML

#19188132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6773) - you deserved it (12540)

On 02/29/2012 at 9:49am - misc - by jake (man) - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15135) - you deserved it (40667)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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