alvarny

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Offline (the 11/27/2015 at 4:04pm)

alvarny

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3653
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:51am<b>liv1222</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:01pm<b>rainbowlack</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:13pm<b>MasteredBastard</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:58am<b>Nicsb</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:53am<b>mmllol21</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:30am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:16pm<b>EleanorHu</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:46pm<b>avatar0810</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:44am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:39am<b>brendapeck</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:32pm<b>_minifty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:33pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:17pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:24pm<b>AaronRippin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:05pm

Fucked!<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:26pm

alvarny's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

by Alohaporno / 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

by Username / 07/09/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

by Anonyme / 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm / Love

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy