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alvarny

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alvarny

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  • Number of visits : 2343
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50174) - you deserved it (8176)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50174) - you deserved it (8176)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (3271)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (5770)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49171) - you deserved it (3909)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (4929)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

#14904173
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45958) - you deserved it (5843)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

#14826763
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you deserved it (67652)

On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (6025)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71629) - you deserved it (3833)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (5692)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118664) - you deserved it (16032)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (7900)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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