Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alvarny

Offline (the 08/09/2014 at 11:02pm) | Search for a member

alvarny

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1382
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

alvarny's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51785) - you deserved it (17579)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32575) - you deserved it (22909)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

#15739241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29120) - you deserved it (3289)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:08am - work - by Shamdog48 - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (13025)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (4804)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46779) - you deserved it (13864)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69115) - you deserved it (9549)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13748) - you deserved it (69120)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (9868)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (8011)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (8011)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (3218)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36387) - you deserved it (5572)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (3787)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (4827)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: