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alvarny

Offline (the 11/27/2015 at 4:04pm) | Search for a member

alvarny

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3188
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>liv1222</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:01pm<b>rainbowlack</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:13pm<b>MasteredBastard</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:58am<b>Nicsb</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:53am<b>mmllol21</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:30am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:16pm<b>EleanorHu</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:46pm<b>avatar0810</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:44am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:39am<b>brendapeck</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:32pm<b>_minifty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:33pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:17pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:24pm<b>AaronRippin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:05pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm

Fucked!<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:26pm

alvarny's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (5664)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10923) - you deserved it (35309)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10923) - you deserved it (35309)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29236) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (3876)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

#19101039
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (1962)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17863) - you deserved it (32499)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (4864)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

#18976383
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35170) - you deserved it (7401)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by Mrs. Man (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (24721)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60311) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (5747)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46627) - you deserved it (4057)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

#18961404
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (9531)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by B - Netherlands



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