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alvarny

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alvarny

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  • Number of visits : 2341
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (41216)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (3534)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (4920)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (2522)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (8749)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (40535)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML

#18357588
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (8572)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:50pm - love - by Rich (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (6802)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

#18089011
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37521) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (2503)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (35000)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34739) - you deserved it (24690)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (3232)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31552) - you deserved it (8307)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (9873)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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